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Tiffany Shlain is the author of "24/6. The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week". She is also the founder of the Webbys, Character Day (where you can find her Tech Shabbat challenges) and the creator a number of films. In today's episode Tiffany brings it all together. You'll hear how taking time off from technology and taking time to reflect helps fuel your creativity and activism.
TRANSCRIPT. We do our best, please forgive or let us know about any errors.
Tiffany Shlain: My name is Tiffany Shlain and I'm a filmmaker. I founded the Webby Awards and I just finished my first book that came out called 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week. And it's about my family's decade-long practice of turning off all screens from Friday night to Saturday night for what my family calls our technology Shabbat and how much it's made our life better. And then Saturday is just literally everybody's favorite day of the week. We just, we hang out, we cook, we nap, we read, we journal, we space out. It's literally everybody's favorite day.
Lauren Schiller: Today, Tiffany Shlain tells us all how to step away from our screens just one day a week. But why would you do that?
Tiffany Shlain: It's good to have a day where you're, I can be reachable to the entire every news headline, every family member, every text alert. It's actually that's what have, I love being available to them the other days, but I need a day to just ground myself.
Lauren Schiller: What was the inspiration to take this break from technology?
Tiffany Shlain: I had this really intense year where my father was diagnosed with brain cancer and I found out I was pregnant in the same week. And those nine months, I thought a lot about life and death and what are we doing when we're here. And whenever I visit my dad who was quite sick, I would turn off my phone of course. And then he passed away and my husband's, and my daughter was born days later and we just knew we just wanted to change the way we're living.
Tiffany Shlain: And then shortly after that, we're part of this group called Reboot, and they had a national day of unplugging, which was one ceremonial day a year of turning off the screens, national day of unplugging. We did it and they asked us to write something for it, and it was this really wonderful night. And the next day, it just felt so good. No screens, it was this cleanest day, it was the longest day. It was the most present and happiest I'd been in a long time and we never stopped doing it.
Tiffany Shlain: So now it's been almost 10 years and the benefits just get. I see them more clearly and they just multiply and amplify. Just in terms of my sense of creativity, I feel very creative both on Tech Shabbat because I'm just, my mind is wandering and the next day is probably my most productive day of the week is Sunday and I laugh a lot more. I just feel I'm there for the funny, I'm just present for life more, feel more connected to myself, to my kids, my husband. It's this day every week that is so important to us and grounds us and even my teenage daughter, she is in her junior year of high school, which is super stressful. And in the last month because she knows she just started school.
Tiffany Shlain: She has commented I think each Saturday, I'm so glad I have this day. There's no homework, there's no being on, she gets to kind of reset and regroup, which we're not giving ourselves any time for it anymore. And especially with the news and we're waking up to the stressful news. We're going to bed with the stressful or FOMO or this or that or whatever mishmash of things you get on your phone. And so in the book I really talk about how much it's changed us and it has this ripple effect to the other six days because I've incorporated all these kind of smaller things into the week to not have the screen dictate my every move. And I was starting to feel like a marionette also, but the book also talks about kind of the history of time on time off the concept of a day of rest and all different cultures and why we need to bring this ritual back.
Lauren Schiller: So when does Saturday night end or are people sitting around waiting for midnight?
Tiffany Shlain: No It's funny we... If you are an observant Orthodox Jew, you wait till three stars are in the sky but for us it would be the three closing screens, no it's five o'clock so 5:00 PM Ken and I get ready to go out on a date and the girls get ready for what they call their double date with technology. And this is the great thing is that not only do I run towards Friday night, turning off the screen each week and everyone does, but on Saturday night you reappreciate the marvels of this miraculous tool called the web and technology all over again. So sometimes I extend it, but a lot of times I, there's something I wanted to look up the head to ponder all day. The pondering is actually quite delightful I think we've forgotten how to do that. Not be able to look something up immediately, but so it has this dual effect each week where I both can't wait to get off the screens and then I reappreciate what they can do when I come back on at five.
Lauren Schiller: I'm Lauren Schiller this is Inflection Point, I love this idea of taking a day off of screens and I thought you might like it too. So next up Tiffany Shlain tells us how to start our own Tech Shabbat, stick around. I'm back with Tiffany Shlain let's just start with how do you pitch this to your family?
Tiffany Shlain: This is the question. Do not say to your kids, we're going to turn off screens one day a week, they might start crying no one's going to want that.
Lauren Schiller: No one wants that.
Tiffany Shlain: Here's what you say. Tip number one, ask every member of your family, including yourself. What do you wish you had more time to do? Everyone's got a list, I mean everybody has a list. Why do you wish you could do more of, is it skateboarding? Is it painting? Is it reading? Is it napping? Is it hanging out with your friends? What's the list? Everyone write their own list and you fill your day with that. It'll become everyone's favorite day of the week. So it's not what you aren't getting it's what you get back. And that's a whole framing because I think people are so attached to their phones for everything, which I think is problematic and kind of reminds people to even jog their mind of all the pleasures in life that don't require a screen.
Tiffany Shlain: So that's exercise number one. What are those things that you love doing? Think back when you were younger, what did you like doing, what do you want more of? And then make the day pretty much all of that and it's just, there's so many things that are pulled away from the screen, you're in a moment, whether it's reading and then you're reading and then it makes you think of something on your phone and then your phone and you're on Instagram and you're off the book. I could say that sentence with everything. So I think it's a framing thing. It's that we need to remind people how incredible it is to be human and to be really present for the people right around you instead of the people in the phone or the things happening in the phone.
Lauren Schiller: I feel I do have a bad habit of when my kids come home and I'm on my computer, my kids come home and on my phone and then I get mad at them for being on their phone when I'm trying to have a conversation with them some modeling.
Tiffany Shlain: That's why this is really good, it's modeling and we made this film called Dear Parent, which I don't know if you saw it, it's a two minute film. It is so much about modeling behavior and a lot of kids do say their parents are the one, just the culprits too. So if you make it like a family experiment and I mean I always wish when my kids see me on the computer and I'm working, you wish there was a light blinking above your head. Actually I'm working right now, I'm helping to pay for the bills I'm not just scrolling away.
Tiffany Shlain: But it is about it being an all in family thing. And I think that's a key part of the toolkit is that everyone has to be in and you're going to have your own rules. I think part number two about rules, so for us it is the screens or the conduit to every distraction and work and all the mishmash of things. So, and we really like kicking it off with a dinner and that's also fun. Who do you wish you spend more time with? Who do you wish you saw more? Everyone's got that list oh, I wish I hang out with that person more. What's a neighbor you want to know better? Who do you want to spend time with that you're not distracted by the phones. And it is such a different experience when phones aren't on your lap in your pocket.
Tiffany Shlain: It's a whole different dinner, it's people are really there they're not half there. And then we've done it with two kids in soccer, we've done that unfortunately they're not both in soccer right now. But you can do it with making plans you have to do a little prep in the Friday afternoon.
Lauren Schiller: So do you put the word out ahead of time, is there an auto reply or something?
Tiffany Shlain: I have some haxe on our website for the book and with all these resources is 24sixlife.com and there are some haxe to put auto responses on your text message. You know how when you get the do not disturb I'm driving, you can actually set that to go. I don't have it on my email because people know I usually do a tweet, I'm on Twitter, that's my preferred social media.
Tiffany Shlain: I usually will on Friday night say turning off screens for my weekly ritual see you on under the tide just kind of remind people they can do that too. And then we invited everyone to try it on mass and we have so many resources for people now on our site and with all these kind of research and short films and ways to get people on board and tips to prepare for your Tech Shabbat. And it is kind of an amazing thing that we need this much to unplug from the network for one day a week I mean the irony is not lost.
Lauren Schiller: It's begging for a camping trip, the inflatable bed.
Tiffany Shlain: And I think it's about just remembering our humanity that we're so often. I walked down the street and everyone's looking down and I listen, it's not I have digital perfection down the other six days I actually think it's harder. I do a lot of mini things the other six days I don't look at my phone when I wake up anymore and that's hard. But I'm don't look at that phone and I get my coffee and I journal, I do a five minute journal. We're talking it's a 10 minute experience that I'm not on my phone but it sets my day in such a different way. But I think it's harder during the week to do all those, don't have it at the dining room table at my film studio no phones on the desks anymore. It is too distracting, so it's in your bag until you go to the bathroom and check it on a break.
Tiffany Shlain: But on my Tech Shabbat, the phones away because it's the visual, even seeing someone else's phone on a table when you're having lunch, it could be off it's their phone. You're not as present because you're looking at their phone, which could ring and it reminds you of your phone, which maybe is in your bag, whatever.
Tiffany Shlain: So we just don't realize how much we are pulling ourselves away from just being where we are. So I think it's actually of course I know people have so much fear around it. I think if people just layered it back and reframed it, as I said from this more positive space, it is literally something I run towards now. I'm I can't wait for it. And I feel I just remember how to live in a different way. They say for creativity, I mean, you do so much creative work and it's good to put your mind in a different mode, even if it's just one day a week and every week it just feels this very deep relaxation and different mood that kind of carries me over to the next week.
Tiffany Shlain: And listen, there's a handful of times a year where I'm traveling, I can't do it. And I feel unmoored I just don't feel quite as solid. I feel oh, I didn't get it.
Lauren Schiller: Well you talk, there's a chapter in the book that talks about creating rules and breaking them?
Tiffany Shlain: You're going to find your own rules, for a while we only listened to Vinyl on a record play, which is really fun, but we really like to cook on our Tech Shabbat. I don't have time to cook during the week as much as I on the weekend. And we started using Alexa as our timer, we have an echo Alexa verbal speaker now, for us that counts.
Tiffany Shlain: That's okay because it's not a screen, I literally say Alexa set the cooking timer for 10 minutes, but I'm not on a screen. If I did it on my phone then I'd get a text and an Instagram and a notification and I'd be off. So for us, we still listen to Vinyl but we also use that as [inaudible 00:11:29]. So that's our rule, I mean you're all going to come up with your own rules. And I have a friend who has special needs child and she was saying I have to be available and a grown child, and I was, what if you got a flip phone that was like your bat phone for that day to kind of force you to just communicate in a different way. So you were always available even if you're out of your house but you weren't mindlessly scrolling being distracted from everything.
Tiffany Shlain: So I think you really need to look at what your family, in the book I have talked about, if you're single, if you're older, I don't know one person in my life or I've talked to so many people about the book that doesn't feel they're on the screens too much. So how do you build this? It's a very old from our people practice. Again I'm not religious but I love going deep on the cons it was such a radical idea. A day of rest it put a period time was ongoing there was no ending and it was a day of rest. It's the fourth commandment above, do not commit murder is after six days you shall rest for a whole day. That', a huge thing to say. So it's such deep wisdom and it's thousands of years old.
Tiffany Shlain: It's free, it's available to everyone. And I do meditation and yoga and I don't consider myself Hindu or Buddhist, but these are practices that bring great balance back into my life. And I would love for people to engage with a full day of Shabbat because then again, most Jews I know that did Shabbat, maybe they do a Friday night dinner. That's probably the most, but the only people I knew that did a full day were Orthodox Jews. And I was always marvel, you don't drive, you don't use money, you don't wow. That's, so I was marveled at it, but I think that it's not for me, but I think in this modern era, I don't know anyone that doesn't feel they're on their phones too much. So how do we bring a very old practice into the 21st century and make it work?
Tiffany Shlain: So getting back to your rules question, I think if you kind of, and we have a series of exercises in the book to kind of walk you through the questions, how many hours do you think you're on a day? When does it not feel good? When does it feel good? I mean, there's lots of times I love the work I do and these global conversations as the best of you get a text from an old friend or there's so many incredible moments. You look something up and you go down this whole beautiful rabbit hole of ideas. There's so many goods, but it just seems it's infiltrated every part of our lives and it doesn't feel good. And so all day long when you feel a marionette doll, which I feel there are thousands of behavioral scientists and engineers, their job is to keep your eyes glued on the screen.
Tiffany Shlain: So when you feel you can't take your eyes away from that screen, it's because that is an intention. So to kind of reclaim yourself one day a week it gives me perspective, every week I really get to detach and think about what's happening and how I can try to help change it. Because there's stuff on a personal level, there's in your family you can model behavior and your kids are living in your house until they're 18 you run the household, you can set some new frameworks and at your company you could say, hey let's put our phones away from our desks let's try this. And then there's some legislation that's coming out we're doing these short films, dear parents, they're all two minutes. To your student, to your CEO, to your legislator and to your fellow human, and they're all approaching this idea from these different perspectives.
Lauren Schiller: You got to talk about the things that you need. What are the tools that you need? [crosstalk 00:14:48].
Tiffany Shlain: And remember what it was like landline. First of all, landlines are very inexpensive, and how much is your sanity worth? They're good for real emergencies. I mean, we've got earthquakes they're really good if there's a real emergency, they're good if you want to find your lost cell phone and they're really good if somebody really needs to get in touch with you on your Tech Shabbat. So landline I just think is really good to have. If you don't have a printer that might be good but I've also just written things by hand, when we did have two kids in soccer, so Friday afternoon I look at what's happening Saturday, which fields are that? I would remind the team just to reminder, we're not on screens, we'll meet you there.
Tiffany Shlain: That's how it used to exist before cell phones, before everyone would be I'm 10 minutes late, I'm around the corner, I'm parking, who cares? We don't need the updates. So especially like the most profound fact I found during researching the book was that it takes 23 minutes to get back into flow after you've been distracted by a notification or a text. So just imagine how much we're taking people out of their moment every single day. So I text a lot less since I've written this book. So Friday afternoon I do a little prep and it's not much just write it and keep it on the counter with a sharpie. I love writing with a sharpie and that is also good for Friday night when there's inevitably things I'm, oh I forgot to do and just all the things that tumbled from your head just to have a place to put them. There'll be there on Sunday for you to deal with, so you just remind people and then you know remind people of your landline and you are liberated and set free. I think people forget how good it feels to not be so reachable.
Lauren Schiller: When we come back Tiffany Shlain tells us how to get into the habit of taking 24 hours away from our screens and how it will help us all be better at leading change support inflection point with a tax deductible donation toward our fundraising goal at inflectionpointradio.org just click the support button. We'll be right back with Tiffany Shlain.
Lauren Schiller: Lauren Schiller: Am back with Tiffany Shlain. I'm just going to make the leap of faith that most of the people that are listening to this cares deeply about, feels needs to change feels we need to make progress on and that there's not a moment to spare.
Tiffany Shlain: But here's the thing, by taking a day for yourself, you're going to be that much more able to do your activism. I remember after the election, I mean you were doing so many women's rights issues and so much stuff and I was exhausted a year in exhausted by Trump, exhausted by it all and I had to re master my strength and on my Tech Shabbats', I feel you have to be able to recharge. This is a long fight, this is a lot of not even, I don't want to use the word fight because issues around the environment that's long term behavioral change, women's rights that is longterm changes.
Tiffany Shlain: These are all marathons and if we're running a million miles an hour, 24 seven activism you're never going to recharge and you're not going to be as effective. And I come up with my best ideas, I do a lot of activist films on my Tech Shabbat because I've pulled away from all the noise and I can think we're not giving ourselves space to think. There's a quote it's something about, it was again with the women's movement, you have to find the joy that you can't it's exhausting and it can be, I mean you have to find the joy in life to keep going and I find most of my joy on these Saturdays and then I feel completely recharged to fight for the... I'm not usually out in nature, so I'm appreciating nature. I'm seeing that I get perspective on women's rights, on our government issues.
Tiffany Shlain: I just get the perspective, I don't feel I have the other six days. So, and then lastly I'll say that if everyone took a Tech Shabbat day off, from consuming maybe we'd, that would be one great step for the climate change crisis. We're all consuming and doing 24 seven and that's also not that healthy for crop or for ourselves. And I think it'd be better why is 24 seven our goal, why is growth always our goal doing more and more.
Lauren Schiller: You are sending out a series of emails leading up to character day many challenges. Could you just review what each of those three or four of them?
Tiffany Shlain: They're still available. And this is something that we're, we're having these resources up all year round. So if you wanted to step in and go, okay, I want to try this.
Tiffany Shlain: By yourself or with your family, whatever. It's an eight week program in total on the first week was don't look at your phone when you wake up, 15 to 30 minutes, replace it with something else you love and again it's not the year without, it's what you get back. So before you go to bed, before you go to sleep and at meals, put the phone away. So I was challenged number one, and then the second week was go and walk without your phone for 30 minutes. I know that sounds hard, but it's so great once you're ah, I am without my phone, I am no one's tracking me. No one can find me am just with myself. So that was week two, and then the third week was how do you cultivate your character online and off.
Tiffany Shlain: So really start to think about where your dad is going, how do you know if something's accurate? What is the effect on you when you're only reading negative news, which is the majority of news activating your amygdala, how can you do other things? So really how do you bring your best self when you are online? And then the fourth week because the Tech Shabbat challenge a whole day with yourself or family. It's good to have a buddy have somebody a squad do it with you for a day, but the key thing is not just about one day is put in your schedule four weekends in a row because building any habit you have to, it's the ritual of it. To me, the power is that we do this every week, go completely off and see how that feels and I promise you it's the best thing I've ever done in my life and I love the web, but we can't lose our humanity when we're using it.
Tiffany Shlain: I feel people don't make eye contact anymore. They're just grunting their way and scrolling it, they literally I remember it was gauche when you in pull out your phone, you're talking to someone now everyone does it. It's always at the table. It's what's important to us and let's think 10 years into the future, if we keep going in this direction, it's going to be the movie Wally. And is that what we want? I used to be a smoker, which I'm not proud of, but I came from a doctor's family, so I was rebelling and who would've thought, I mean everyone used to smoke in San Francisco and I would have never thought that no one hardly smokes anymore.
Tiffany Shlain: But it was a combination of laws and awareness and not coolness and everything. And then the behavior changed and I'm not completely equating smart funnies because of course smartphones brings so many good things but the habits around them are ridiculous right now. So the pendulum has swung so far, so just try this very simple practice to bring it a little back and I promise you it's going to make you feel better about the way you're living.
Lauren Schiller: That was Tiffany Shlain, author of 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week to find films, resources, and research about how technology is rewiring our brains and what it's doing to teens and youth plus to find the rest of the weeks of the Tech Shabbat challenge, we'll put a link to Tiffany's website, characterday.org on our website along with the link to her book. It's all at inflectionpointradio.org I'm Lauren Schiller. This is Inflection Point and this is how women rise up.
Lauren Schiller: That's our inflection point for today. All of our episodes are on Apple podcasts, RadioPublic, Stitcher, Pandora, NPR One, all the places. Give us a five star review and subscribe to the podcast. Know women leading change we should talk to let us know@inflectionpointradio.org while you're there, support our production with a tax deductible monthly or one-time contribution. When women rise up, we all rise up. Just go to inflectionpointradio.org we're on Facebook and Instagram at inflectionpointradio. Follow us and join the inflection point society, our Facebook group of everyday activists who seek to make extraordinary change through small daily actions and follow me on Twitter @laschiller. To find out more about today's guest and to be in the loop with our email newsletter you know where to go inflectionpointradio.org. Inflection Point is produced in partnership with KALW 91.7 FM in San Francisco and PRX. Our community manager is Alaura Weaver, our engineer and producer is Eric Wayne. I'm your host Lauren Schiller.
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